Tuesday, September 21, 2010

...TUESDAY...

I have thought all day long that today is WEDNESDAY!!!! Now...my day is crushed...LOL...

Well...it's been a LONG time since I posted anything...I know...but...I felt I needed a little break... PLUS...I had surgery and it put me out of commission for a couple of weeks...

More on my surgery you say... Okay...here goes...

Most of you who read my blog have known me all of my life or, at least, most of it... This is something that I have never been able to talk about...with anyone... As you know, I've ALWAYS been overweight...and five years ago after having that tumor removed, the hormones from trying to get pregnant again and all the other stuff that was going on in our lives...I gained more weight...

I used to be REALLY self-conscious about my weight... I didn't do a whole lot because I was too embarrassed by my weight...and I love(d) my (ex-)husband to death, but it was partially his fault... As you notice, I don't blame him completely...I'm at fault too... BUT...I had a wake up call when we got divorced 3 years ago...i have a whole new meaning in life about me...(please excuse the French)...IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THE WAY I AM, FUCK YOU, I DON'T NEED YOU IN MY LIFE!!!... So, I started dressing differently...not covering up as much and not wearing clothes that were actually too big for me and made me look bigger... My whole outlook on myself changed...FOR THE BETTER!!!! I love myself the way I am...and if you don't love me like this...bye-bye...

But, a couple of years ago I had to start taking high blood pressure medicine, cholesterol medicine, still on a small dose of hormones, and also medicine for acid reflux... So...in January of 2010, I decided to make a HUGE change in my life...

I went to see a doctor's seminar about Gastric Bypass... I feel in love with the doctors because they were SO truthful...and caring...and straight up in your face about it! I started going to see Dr. Robert Davis of The Davis Clinic in Memorial City, Houston, Texas and I can honestly tell you...that he has changed my life for the better!!

I, of course, had to do the whole insurance requirement thing...and I got APPROVED... I went to a nutritionist for 3 months so I could learn what I needed to prepare myself for after surgery... On July 7th (Karson's 10th bday), I got a call from Alma at the Clinic and she said that they got the final approval for surgery...and that I had a surgery date...of August 24th, 2010...

I was so excited...but then I was like "CRAP"...I can't take off work that week...it's the first week of school...and they will fall apart if I'm not there...but then I was like...no, they will be okay...I'll give them PLENTY of notice that I will be out for a week or so... So, I talked to my boss and told him what I had going on and that I know we aren't supposed to take off during August/September...but I had to do this...I couldn't put it off any longer... So...he agreed that since it was a medicial issue and not vacation, that I could have the week off...

On August 10th, 2010, I started my two weeks of liquids only prior to surgery... The first few days were tough...but...my friends and famly supported me so much (THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I LOVE EACH OF YOU DEARLY!!!!)... I will say that I did cheat some during those two weeks...I just HAD to have something to freaking chew and swallow!!! LOL...

Anyway, surgery day got here...and we (me, Mom, MeeMaw and Aunt Judy) went to the hospital and sat around forever until it was my turn... I was so nervous!!! I had only been in the hospital 2 times before that...1 to have Karson and 2 to have the tumor removed... I was so scared... I took Karson to school that morning and told her I loved her and gave her a HUGE hug and kiss and told her (and PRAYED REALLY HARD) that I would see her in a couple of days... Karson is the whole reason I was doing this... I wanted to be here for her...and see my daughter graduate HS, College, get married, and be with her when she gives us grandchildren (when I'm 50ish...I didn't have her until I was 25...)... She is the reason I am here today...she keeps me going...and I wanted to be around in order for her to keep me going!!!

I was in the hospital for a few days (Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday)...and I was doing great while there... I came home Friday and was okay...then by Saturday I thought that I had made the BIGGEST mistake of my life!!! I was SO SICK... ANYTHING I put in my mouth made me nauseous...and I threw up... I couldn't drink water or anything!! The doctor wanted to put me back in the hospital, but I said no... we finally realized that I'm allergic to liquid coedine...I will NEVER take that stuff again!!! Once that got out of my system, I could drink water and broth without hurling...

I'm doing GREAT now!!! I have lost a total of 48 pounds in a month!!! I can't eat a lot at one time...but that's fine... My stomach is about the size of a golf ball...so it only holds about 1/4 to 1/2 cup at a time... I have to eat 4 or 5 times a day...and it has to be hig protein foods...because I can't drink the protein shakes anymore...they make me hurl... They are SO SWEET!!! And I wasn't a sweet eater before surgery...and I'm definitely NOT one now...LOL...

I have to read all the nutrition facts on all food now... I can only have so much sugar per meal... And it's hard to eat things that are canned/pre-packaged because of the sugar count... But...so far so good... I feel a lot better...and can do more by jsut losing the 48 pounds...just think when I lose all that I want to how good I will feel...

Thank you so much for listening to me... I will keep everyone updated on my progress as time goes on...

Thank you again...and I love each and every one of you...

PS - I would post a before and now picture, but for some reason, blogger won't accept my pics...whatever...LOL...

Have a great day!!!